It’s full of empty calories.

It’s not like at college we’re all struggling with our weight and making healthy food choices already. Why not add calories that have zero nutritional value into your diet? “Pack on the pounds!” –me at parties. There’s more than 150 calories in a beer, 64 in a single shot of vodka, and over 200 in the average cup of jungle juice. Yay! Drink alcohol!

Your brain gets damage if you drink alcohol.

Alcohol can stop your brain from developing new brain cells in our poor little developing brains. Thank goodness. If I had more brain cells, I’d probably have to think more. That’d be the worst. Short term effects make you dizzy, process thoughts slower, and have less coordination. Long term effects can cause memory less, inability to form new memories, and cause life-long, debilitating disorders. Who even uses their brain anyway? LOL right?

drink alcohol college

Liver damage occurs.

Your liver works so hard for you, trying to process out the toxins and bad stuff in your body. When your liver tries to break down the alcohol, the alcohol releases a chemical that damages the liver cells. The alcohol can also damage tissue you in your gut which releases chemicals that hurts the liver. The liver scars, and if the damage goes on long enough, this can never be undone. Crazy!

You can make worse grades.

On average, the more you drink, the worse your grades will be. Isn’t that awesome? You thought you just didn’t have to study to make bad grades, right? Wrong! Turns out you can just drink, and even if you do study, your grades will still be worse than others’! I mean, drinking is a pretty good excuse to not go to class anyway, since the effects of alcohol can last for even forty-eight hours after drinking.

drink alcohol college

You can make decisions you wouldn’t normally make.

Lower your inhibitions! YES! You wouldn’t normally do drugs, but hey…

You wouldn’t normally try to dance, but since you drank…

You wouldn’t normally hook up with him, but since you took some shots…

You wouldn’t normally assault someone, but you can’t make decisions!

Unsafe sex is way more likely if you drink alcohol.

And unsafe sex is good. Think about it. You can get pregnant or get someone pregnant… that’s awesome. You can contract a disease, but what’s the worse that could happen from that? You get HIV? Puhlease, only 37 million people have that. Only one in six people have herpes (which has no cure, by the way), so you probably won’t get it even if you don’t use a condom (which significantly decreases the risk of contracting STIs).

drink alcohol college

You can get sick.

Personally, I love puking. I can’t get enough of it. Your body thinks alcohol is bad and literally tries to expel it… dope! That means you get to puke! Not to mention the next morning when you wake up with a headache and feel like puking even more. Some people drink and don’t get hungover… LAME.

You’re more likely to get depressed.

Alcohol is literally defined as a depressant. WebMD, the most reliable source on the internet, says, “When you drink too much, you’re more likely to make bad decisions or act on impulse. As a result, you could drain your bank account, lose a job, or ruin a relationship. When that happens, you’re more likely to feel down, particularly if your genes are wired for depression.” Then you’ll be able to relate to those depression memes on Twitter and those depression medicine commercials.

literally dying

It’s illegal to drink alcohol.

Remember how it’s illegal to drink and buy alcohol when you’re under 21? Everyone knows breaking the law makes you look cool. You’ll look even cooler when you’re wearing an orange vest picking up trash on the side of the road as community service once you get caught drinking under age.

drink alcohol college

You could die.

Again, based on Twitter memes, dying is totally cool and on trend. That is so convenient and cool. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism reports that, “An estimated 88,000 people (approximately 62,000 men and 26,000 women) die from alcohol-related causes annually, making alcohol the fourth leading preventable cause of death in the United States.” So… if it’s preventable, that also means it’s causable… jump on that! Isn’t everyone Twitter always saying “kill me pls” anyway?

literally dying drink alcohol

You could kill someone.

Enough joking around. When you choose to drink alcohol, you are choosing to give up control of your mind. If you don’t consume alcohol safely and responsibly, you are putting the lives of others at risk. It’s unfair and cruel for you to put your night of irresponsible partying over the life of another human being. Almost 10,000 people died from alcohol-related accidents in 2014 (source). That’s not okay with me.

drink alcohol college

In conclusion…

I’m not judging you for drinking alcohol; I understand the enormous social pressure and the feeling that it’s not that big of a deal. At the end of the day, you make your own choices. I hope that if you’re not convinced not to drink that next time that you do choose drink, you do so in a safe, responsible manner. This means…

  • drinking a responsible amount
  • planning safe transportation before driving
  • drinking in a safe, comfortable environment
  • looking out for others around you
  • knowing your limit

Let’s keep each other safe and remember that we’re responsible for our choices!

How do you feel about alcohol? Comment below.

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