Today’s post is a bit personal for me, and it’s something that’s been weighing on my heart for a while! I’ve been with my wonderful boyfriend for over a year now, and we’ve spent eight months of that in a long distance relationship, since my family moved, I traveled to Europe, and I’m now in college. From friends and people who are practically strangers I often get the comment, “Wow, that must be so hard!” We live four hours away, and we’re both so busy! If I get to talk to my boyfriend on the phone for twenty minutes, I consider that lots of time with him. And while we try to visit at least every three weeks, it normally ends up being two days every month! That’s crazy. So they’re right, it is hard to not get to see him. I really value the friendship I have with him, but I wouldn’t change our situation! There are so many reasons I love the way my relationship is.
We value each other more.
Um, a lot more! Any moment I get to spend with my man is something I treasure. Any free time he dedicates to video calling me feels like a gift. I cherish precious letters I receive from him in the mail, and I know he does the same! His snapchats are like wonderful presents that you best believe I screenshot. When we finally get to visit, we anticipate it for weeks and remember it for even longer after! We truly dedicate our time to each other and do what really makes us happy. We don’t spend pointless time together; everything we do is built on truly enjoying each other’s company. I’m so lucky to be in a relationship where I get to really be appreciated! When I asked my boyfriend what the best part of being in an LDR was, he said (after asking what an LDR was), “When we finally see each other after so long…It shows how much we appreciate each other. Like we appreciate each other so much more because we don’t get used to always being there.”we appreciate each other so much more because we don't get used to always being there Click To Tweet
I get to focus on building friendships.
Honestly, I know if my boyfriend was at college with me, I probably wouldn’t have made as many friends. He would have a been a safety net, and I would’ve spent my time with him instead of branching out. Without him here, I got involved! I met people and made friends and I didn’t have to worry about making time to hang out with him or missing out on friend activities because I had something planned with my boyfriend. I truly get to give my new college friendships 100% of my free time! I also feel like I’m more comfortable building friendships with guys; hear me out. If I didn’t have a boyfriend, I’d be worried about first impressions and if they liked me and blah blah blah. I can talk to boys and not think anything of it because I have a boyfriend. While I’d like my boyfriend and friends to be close, it’s nice that I never really have to choose between the two and I get to totally focus on building college friendships.
We really trust each other.
My boyfriend went to a dance, and he had a date. A girl. Can you believe it? It was awesome! They took cute pictures! And I’m happy for him. The amount of effort we have to put into our relationship changes the perspective. There’s no point in putting in this much effort to a relationship if you’re going to cheat. Point blank. It’d be way more convenient to have someone in the same town as you, so clearly we’ve got something special! I trust him completely because I have to! I have no doubts about his intentions with me or with anyone else.
I have a place to visit.
And so does he! Traveling to another town, or meeting in the middle, provides the opportunity to branch out or have an adventure, instead of getting stuck in the same old “date night” rut! I get to show him around where I live, and he gets to remind me of what I love in my old town. It’s like I have another home in another town, and I love getting to go visit!
We get to grow separately.
Both of us truly get to focus on our interests and passions without the other one getting in the way. Even though we’re far apart, we get to be each other’s cheerleaders and encouragers. We no longer depend on each other for company or fun; we find joy in our own lives! Isn’t that awesome?we get to be each other’s cheerleaders and encouragers Click To Tweet
There are so many “LDR” things to do.
Have you ever had a FaceTime movie date? Have you ever thumb kissed on Couple? Have you ever kept a Snapchat streak for as long as you were apart? Have you ever looked at the stars together while apart? Have you ever put two photos together from that one time you both visited London, two weeks apart? Well you’re missing out! There are truly so many fun things that we get to do even though we’re not physically together!
We communicate well.
Communication is the biggest make or break factor in any relationship, and your communication has to be amazing when you’re in a long distance relationship. Having this opportunity to “LDR” has made us super effective at communicating both our wants and needs. We have to be accepting and understanding when the other person is busy; we have to be patient when talking; we have to be very clear and concise. So many things can get lost or mistranslated via text or even on the phone, so we truly have to say exactly what we mean.Communication is the biggest make or break factor in any relationship Click To Tweet
We get to send mail.
Okay, who doesn’t love mail? It’s so cool to receive an actual physical letter that someone took the time to write to you. I absolutely adore letters and care packages, and that’s never something we would have done if we lived near each other. Not only is it a fun surprise in the moment; it also gives you a hardcopy you get to keep forever! Also, I love getting to decorate new envelopes and write fun letters! I never run out of inspiration.
Our relationship has a strong backbone.
The focus of our relationship is communication! Regularly, we don’t get to cuddle or kiss or do things together; we simply have conversation and maybe the occasional fun video chat date. Because of this, our relationship is truly centered on growing closer and getting to know each other. It’s very intimate, but in an emotional sense. I continue to learn new things about my boyfriend every single day, and I’m so lucky to be in this position where we get to grow as people.
All in all…
Of course it’s not easy to miss my boyfriend. And certainly, every relationship has its challenges. For me, the challenges are far outweighed by the perks that this long distance relationship holds. Plus, I get to date my best friend! What more could I want?
What are your thoughts on long distance relationships?